he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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