Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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