You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
