I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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