so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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