I love black thongs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
