i just had sex bonerless
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
