I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
