what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
