yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
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his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
dude. I can hear the air.
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