no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
