I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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