all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
