i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize