i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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