She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
