ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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