I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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