not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
