Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
