can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
