why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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