For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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