i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
