I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize