My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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