I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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