Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
