If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
