I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
