Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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