I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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