you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
