Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
