I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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