My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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