Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
