Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
