Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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