shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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