I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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