Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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