Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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