Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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