I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
