He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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