i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
