just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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