I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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