thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This girl is more easily done than said...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my being single is dangerous.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
