so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
