i need an iv and a liver transplant
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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