Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
