anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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