so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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