I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Bring me that man meat
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
