Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
