We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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