Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
