Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
