I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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