Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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