i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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