Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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