im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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