He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just took my morning after pill in the library
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
