dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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